Cheers to 10 years

Way back in August, David and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. And it may be hard to believe, but we have never spent a night together away from the kids. So, this year our anniversary fell during our time out in Spokane, and David's parents graciously agreed to keep the kids for a night while David and I spent the day/night over at the Coeur D'Alene resort in Idaho. We had an absolute blast, and I'm thankful for the time we had just the two of us.

Anyway, I never wrote a blog about celebrating 10 years, but have always thought I'd want to bring it up at some point. In a world where it is common practice to be on the constant lookout for the next best thing, or the need/desire for change in our lives, this sort of mentality infiltrates into a marriage quite easily it seems (both in Christian and non-Christian marriages alike) as the "forever" concept in marriage doesn't seem to have the same definition as in the past.

After 10 years of marriage, I'm proud of the relationship David and I share. Not because it's perfect, but because it's real. And good. Once we got engaged I used the phrase "doing life together" often - a phrase that appears to be more common today - and in the last 10 years, we've done just that. No matter what happens, we're in this thing called "life" together.

And while we have our weaknesses, today I'm choosing to celebrate our 10 years with 10 of our strengths in our marriage.

1. We communicate well. We talk all the time, share tiny insignificant details about our daily lives, converse about big topics in the news, and spill out our emotions to each other. We don't always agree (though mostly we do, it seems), but we listen and share opinions and talk it out. We sometimes get moody and frustrated (obviously me - I am a girl), while the other shows a lot of patience and grace (duh, it's David).

2. We laugh a lot together. Sure, there are funny things that happen in life that we can laugh at together. Or our kids are super funny and make us laugh often. But, I'm happy to say that whether it's playfulness, sarcasm, or wit, both David and I can make each other outright laugh.

3. We have common hobbies/interests. We both enjoy being outdoors, we watch similar tv shows and movies together, we enjoy similar foods, we enjoy playing similar games, and we enjoy talking about similar subjects. We strive to be healthy (which could be a whole different category, but I'm choosing to place it under here) - we enjoy leading active lifestyles and eating healthier foods and learning about essential oils to treat issues naturally. Clearly we are different people, but as we have grown in our marriage, many of our interests and hobbies have grown together as well.

4. We encourage the necessary time away. As we are different people, we obviously don't do everything together. If I need a break from people (kids) and want to go sit at a coffee shop, David encourages me to take that time. If David gets invited out with a buddy or two, I encourage that. When activities arise that are meant for just one of us, we are both very encouraging of taking advantage of it, understanding each others' needs. I'm not usually the best choice for David to go birdwatching with, and he's not the best choice for me to quilt with.

5. We have similar views on life. When it comes to politics, religion, or raising kids, we are almost always on the same page. We have healthy discussions, and approach life in a very similar way.

6. We trust each other completely. There is no one else in the world that I trust more than David. He eternally has my back, and I know without a doubt I can trust him with absolutely anything.

7. Family is important to us. We live far away from our families. We have ever since we got married, actually. And yet, it's a priority for both of us to spend time with them. When we were first married and living out in Santa Cruz, California, we worked seasonal jobs and had 3 months off in the summer. So, we split our time and lived 6 weeks with each family. When we moved to Costa Rica, we scheduled a couple weeks with each family in the summer and usually 1-2 weeks with each family at Christmas. Now that we are back in the states, we again find ourselves far away from both families. Yet now that we have our own kids, we want them to be a part of their extended families (and we still miss our families as well), so we do all we can to spend time in Washington and Iowa throughout the year. I'm thankful that this is as important to David as it is to me.

8. We share a mutual respect for each other. This comes across in listening to each other, asking for advice or opinions, admiring the other person's talents, and speaking highly of each other in public.

9. We share responsibilities around the house. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I do most of the cleaning and cooking. But when David is around, he is truly involved. He helps in the kitchen, gets projects done around the house, and is a very involved father. For being gone a large chunk of each day, David teaches and plays with and corrects the kids and does the bedtime routine almost just as much as me.

10. We travel well together. This is important, since we seem to travel a lot! We can go from a 30-hour car ride across the country to an all-day trip down to Latin America without hiccups. We help each other to be flexible, patient, and positive. And as a result, we love to travel together.

Here's to the next 10 years!

Christmas reflection

Christmas is a great time for reflection, isn't it?

Recently I was asked on a couple different occasions to envision myself as part of the nativity scene. I was asked to reflect upon the different characters and try to figure out which one I identified most with. Would it be the excitement of the angel, presenting the news about the birth of Jesus? Would it be the curiosity of a shepherd? A camel, who had a heavy load to carry?

And yet, I could never get past Mary. That may seem obvious, as a mother, to identify with the mother in the story. Some of the feelings seem very natural for me to identify with - the dread of the pain that childbirth would bring, the wonder and amazement of seeing my child enter the world, and the fear of being a good mother and bearing that responsibility to raise my child right.

I know the Christmas story quite well. I grew up doing advent calendars and hearing the Bible stories. But I recently read something that hit me a little differently than before. I read a verse I must have seen many times, and yet don't remember very much.

After Mary gave birth to Jesus, and after the shepherds had come to see the baby, Luke 2:19 says this: "Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart."

What a beautiful picture of the Christmas story. A young mother, with her tiny newborn baby, feeling overwhelmed and scared and amazed and exhausted.

But what does Mary do? She treasured those moments, and pondered them in her heart.

And then I got it. This is the reason I identify most with Mary.

I am way too busy over the Christmas season. Too many projects, too many activities, too many errands to run. And yet, in the busyness of it all, I want to make sure to be like Mary.

My kids are young and adorable and bright-eyed and filled with wonder. They love Christmas songs, decorating the house, seeing Christmas lights, watching Christmas movies, and reading Christmas books. They eat Christmas goodies, get dressed up for Christmas parties, and sang beautifully and off-key for the Christmas production at church.

And I can't help but treasure up all these things and ponder them in my heart.

Halloween Candy

Live and learn, is that some sort of motto for parents? It should be.

That's the reality around here. Case in point: Halloween candy.

The last couple of years on Halloween, we went to a neighborhood close to the OU campus, where there was always lots of trick-or-treaters and plenty of decorated houses. This year we decided to stay closer to home and trick-or-treat around our neighborhood.

Adele as Princess Tiana and Henry as our little lion man

We went for dinner to a friend's house and the kids got to visit the homes within about a 2-block span. (Side note: Henry couldn't contain himself and led the pack, running from house to house yelling "Come on guys! This way!!") On the short walk back to our house, we stopped at just a few more houses - only the most decorated ones. Overall, it was definitely not overkill.

But somehow, we ended up with even more candy than the last couple years! People in our neighborhood were very generous, giving handfuls of candy or even already-prepared goody bags.

That night, we let the kids each pick a couple pieces of candy. Henry chose candy he already knew - smarties and a sucker. Adele laid out each piece and carefully picked a couple new ones that looked most intriguing to her.

The next day we did the same - two pieces of candy each.

Then we ended up talking to some people who said that it's actually better for their teeth (and to not develop a routine of candy every day) if they eat it all right away and then are totally finished with it.

We've heard of lots of ways to deal with Halloween candy. Choose a set amount of pieces and let the kids determine the speed in which they consume it, spread out the candy they get over days or weeks, have a "Halloween fairy" (or witch?) come and collect all the candy, donate the candy for money...etc.

When I was growing up, I remember having the option of keeping the candy, or trading it in and going to the toy store to pick out a new toy. Of course, we always chose a new toy.

Well, on Sunday we decided that since we didn't have much going on, we would let the kids devour their baskets of candy to their heart's content. They both ate a great lunch and then we shared with them the "good" news. I'm not sure what we expected to happen...though we had high hopes that they would eat a few pieces excitedly and then be finished for the day.

Ha! They proved us wrong and had just the best time eating a ton of candy all day long.

Along with the consuming of candy came true expressions of excitement. Things like "Best day ever!" or "There is so much candy I just can't decide what to have next!"

David and I simply stared wide-eyed as sugar took over our kids' brains and they began bouncing off the walls (almost literally). It might have been one of the most amusing days we've had watching our kids.

Finally, toward the end of the day, Henry would open a piece of candy, take a bite, and exclaim "It's yucky." And eventually..."I don't like candy." Hurrah!

I'm not sure what we'll do next year, but it will probably be different than this year. Live and learn, right?

And as for the rest of their candy from this year...they each have about a half a basket left. We are taking a break from the mass consumption of candy. And David and I are "helping" the candy disappear quicker than they realize...

To clean or not to clean

I've heard it said that it takes 21 days to form a habit.

There always seem to be things in my life that I would like to turn into a routine, and habits I would like to form as I seek to improve as a mother and housewife.

A while back I saw a "cleaning schedule" on Pinterest. I have never been a great cleaner. I've not been a bad cleaner, but it's been hard to stay motivated to keep up with the deep cleaning of the house. 

I'm not talking about simply doing dishes and picking up toys - because let's be honest, those things have to be done every-single-day-almost-every-hour in order to just have the appearance of a clean house. No, I'm talking about things like cleaning out the fridge. And washing windows. And polishing the wood furniture. And scrubbing the floors. 

It's exhausting keeping a clean house! And with 2 young kids in the house? One might argue that it's impossible. "Cleaning a house with young kids is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos" is more than just a funny saying - it's a reality. 

So I decided to take it upon myself to experiment a little bit with cleaning and figure out a routine that would keep me on top of the deep cleaning, while not stressing me out. I've tried various cleaning ideas - deep cleaning all in one day, all in one weekend, and splitting up tasks over different days - like dusting one day and cleaning all glass (windows/mirrors) another day. 

After seeing yet another cleaning schedule on Pinterest, I gave it a shot. And so far, I like it.

Monday - Thursday I deep clean clean an area of the house.
Mondays: Kitchen. Wipe down counters, clean out fridge, clean microwave wash windows, sweep/scrub floors.
Tuesdays: Living room. Put away everything - mail piles that collect, toys, etc, dust, wash windows, polish wood furniture.
Wednesdays: Bedrooms. Put away /, hang up/put away all laundry that's accumulated, wash windows, dust, polish furniture.
Thursday: Bathrooms. Clean countertops, mirrors, scrub toilets, sweep/wash floors, wash shower/bathtubs

*As a disclaimer, our house is small, so breaking the house up into 4 areas makes each day seem fairly easy.

**As another disclaimer, I have two little kids. Easy is not a very accurate depiction of keeping a house even remotely clean.

A few notes: vacuuming is not on the list. Henry is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, so it takes two of us to complete the task - one to vacuum and one to comfort him in the other room. Also, there are tasks I do not do every week (washing windows, polishing furniture). But if I stick to the weekly schedule, I still concentrate on that area on each given day. And if I miss a day, it's not overwhelming to pick it back up the next day.

I also make my own cleaners! To see recipes, check out this post on our other blog: http://familywellnessessentialoils.wordpress.com/2014/10/10/green-cleaning/

Dare I say it's becoming a habit? Not yet...but I'm working on it. With the excuse that because it's a weekly routine, I am giving myself 21 weeks to make it a habit. :)

Fall Fun

We've only had a handful of days this year where it's actually FELT like Fall...but this year I'm celebrating October as Fall month regardless of what the thermometer says.

Someday I want to be able to decorate my house according to seasons/holidays better. More grown up. I want to be crafty and have my house all decked out for things like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and even Easter.

But for now, I have an almost-5-year old and a 2 1/2 year old. I want them to learn about the wonders of being crafty and discover their own creativity inside them.

So now, when I "decorate" for seasons and holidays, it has my kids' handprints all over the decorations.

As Adele is enjoying all things school right now, she doesn't exactly need help discovering her own creativity - she just simply needs opportunity to enjoy and practice being creative and crafty.

This year for Fall Break, I wanted the kids to enjoy having some extra time at home. I wanted it to be a little different than a weekend, and since it was going to be 4 full days, I also didn't want to go crazy myself.

So we took outings, read numerous books, baked pumpkin muffins and pumpkin bread, and did some fun fall crafts.

Painting leaves!

                                             Fall trees and paper pumpkins!

 Spiders to decorate the house!

I suppose, of course, once my kids are older and I decorate my house in a more grown up way for seasons and holidays...I am quite certain that I will miss these days of doing fun crafts with my little kids!

And if any of you have kids who like Curious George and you also have Netflix, you should check out the Curious George special "Halloween Boo." It has become my kids' favorite thing to watch this fall, and here is David re-enacting "No Noggin'".

Couldn't resist...

I know I recently posted some cute saying around our house, but I just couldn't help but post another one today.

Here are some funny/cute Adele-isms:

-Recently Adele was perusing a magazine and found a pumpkin all cut and ready for Halloween. She asked if we could carve a pumpkin just like that and I told her to ask her daddy because he is the pumpkin master. She replied, "But...I thought he was the bird expert!"

-We are beginning to see that maybe Adele is getting too used to Oklahoma hot weather. The first time it was only 61 degrees outside she said to me sadly, "I don't think we're going to be able to play outside for recess today. It's too cold...must be already winter."

-Earlier this week it was fire safety day at school. Adele explained to me how you call 911 for emergencies, but call the regular fire department number for a fire alarm that doesn't work. She asked me what the regular number was, and I said I didn't know. So she asked, "Did you learn fire safety in school?" and I said yes I had, so she followed up by saying, "Bet you weren't paying attention when they gave the regular number, were you?"

-This week we dropped David off at school/work and Adele started talking about how she missed him already. I said I did too, but sometimes we need to go off and do things and then come home and hang out as a family. I told her that even though we knew she was loving school and having a great time, we missed her when she was gone. She thought about that for a second and said, "Yeah...I forget to miss you when I'm at school..."

And a cute Henry moment:

-Both kids have skeleton clothing - Adele a shirt, and Henry pajamas. They both put them on and were going to wear them to bed. They loved them, played in them...and then found out they glowed in the dark. Henry was a little afraid of that, and when it was time to go to bed he told me he had to take off his skeleton pajamas, saying "I don't want to see my bones!"

Rain!

Oh rain, how I love thee...

I've never thought of myself as a big fan of rain. Those people live in Seattle...right?

I AM a severe weather fan though. Not because of destruction...but because of the power the severe weather represents.

Growing up in Iowa, we had four distinct seasons. Not exactly the prime location for severe weather, but I took what I got. I would watch radars for thunderstorms in the spring (and the occasional exciting tornado warning), and look for weather updates for the chance of big snowfalls.

I don't remember paying too much attention to just RAIN.

After having lived in Costa Rica for 4 years, and experiencing hours upon hours, days upon days (months upon months) of rain, I couldn't help but develop an appreciation for rain.

You would think I would have gotten sick of it. And of course, there were days when I had enough rain. I was tired of soggy shoes. Never being able to do my hair. Feeling like my rain jacket AND umbrella were permanently attached to me.

October brought two of the rainiest weeks every year. There were multiple times during the month of October where we got stuck in tropical storms, or had landslides along the road.

And yet...I miss the rain. I miss being amazed at the sound of the intense, powerful rain beating down on the roof. Having to quite literally yell at David just so he could hear me over the rain.

And now that it's October, I can't help but think of our rainy days in Costa Rica.

Somehow, rain in Oklahoma just isn't the same as the cloud forest of Costa Rica.

My excitement builds and builds as the forecasters begin predicting rain days in advance. I check regularly the upcoming daily forecast. Then the hourly forecast. And then the radar, as the rain approaches the state of Oklahoma...and then Oklahoma City...

And then, after a short time of wonderful, refreshing rain outside, it ends. Almost just as quickly as it began, the rain is gone.

And I go back to looking at next week's forecast...