Goodbyes suck

Goodbyes are the worst. I hate them. Always have, always will.

For our Middle School graduation, the song "Yesterday" was played (It's so hard...to say goodbye...to yesterday...). It made me sad. And yet, everyone was continuing on to high school. What a silly goodbye to be sad about, and yet I was.

I was incredibly sad about graduating high school and leaving my friends. I wasn't even that excited about college, because I was too consumed with being sad about the goodbyes I'd have to face.

I chose to be a Spanish major in college, knowing full well that I'd have a requirement of studying abroad for a semester. Although I was excited about that opportunity in the beginning, I ended up almost dreading it because it meant I'd have a semester away from my friends. I planned on going my junior year, and ended up putting it off until spring semester of my senior year just to put off having to say my goodbyes. Putting it off didn't make the goodbyes any easier.

Leaving Costa Rica after the semester wasn't easy either. I had met a boy I liked, who happened to live in the far away state of Washington, and we knew it wouldn't be easy to see each other frequently.

After David and I got married, we moved out to California to work. Though I was excited about a new life with my new husband, I was super sad to say goodbye to my family and move away. Those goodbyes sucked.

The goodbyes were hard when we moved from California to Costa Rica. The goodbyes were awful when we left Costa Rica to move back to the U.S. Seeing a pattern? I hate goodbyes. 

David isn't much better. I'd like to call him my rock, my strength, the person I depend on. He is all of those things, but not necessarily when it comes to goodbyes. At the end of each visit with our families, we sadly walk away, tears in both our eyes (and often rolling down our faces). We've been able to spend good quality with both of our families over the years, but the goodbyes don't get any easier.

Today was a tough day. A day that had been slowly creeping up on us. David left this morning to go back to Oklahoma for a few days to prepare before he leaves for Nicaragua for two months to do his research for his master's. We had considered having the kids and me join him for a month or so of his time there, but concluded that this year might not be the best year for that. We plan on going with him next year.

David's excited to go. I'm excited for him (and a bit jealous of being in Latin America without me!). And while we know that two months isn't that long in the big scheme of life, it didn't make saying goodbye any easier today for either of us. Goodbyes suck.

I'm not one to post facebook statuses about my husband, or publicly declare how much I love him, or prove to the world what a good dad or husband he is. Maybe it's because we began our relationship way back in the stone age, when there was no facebook, blogs weren't popular, and the world wasn't nearly as interconnected through the internet as it is now. Maybe not. We've just never been too public of a couple.

But let me say a few things about David. He is awesome. I could never have a better husband, a better father to my children, or a bester friend. He is my whole world. We've done everything together it seems. For almost our entire marriage, we've worked the same jobs with the same hours, travel together, and had the same friends. We talk about everything, make all decisions together, split up responsibilities evenly, become visionaries together, dream and talk hours about our future. We encourage each other to go out with friends, take time for ourselves, and yet we love being together. We laugh, we cry, and we usually can't shut each other up when we're with each other. David has made me a better person. I realize that's a cliché thing to say, but I truly am better just by having him in my life.

And as today is Father's Day, let me take a second to rave about David as a father. David and I parent together, and he is so involved in our kids' lives already. He changes diapers, holds Henry, patiently disciplines, helps teach and correct, ooohs and aaahs over Henry's latest developments, and is Adele's favorite playmate in the world.

Simply put, David is the best.

So while we are excited for David's time in Nicaragua, and thankful for email and Skype, it was hard to see him go today.

Goodbyes suck.