Motherhood

I've never been much of a kid person. That may surprise some, since 75% of this blog is about my kids.

I was a dog person. This was me:

Growing up, we used to categorize people as "kid people" or "dog people". You know, those that ooh and aah over the cute kids in the strollers vs. those that ooh and aah over the dogs on leashes.

I also admit, I really disliked babysitting. I appreciated the money, but I considered it hard-earned money if I had to play pretend for hours instead of being able to sit and watch a movie with the kids. 

However, I always knew I wanted to have a family. I didn't know what it would be like to have my own kids or to be a mother, but I knew I wanted it.

My preference for dogs over kids didn't change even when I was pregnant. Not long before Adele was born, I had some interactions with women who wanted me to hold their baby. They assumed I loved kids. A fair assumption, considering I was weeks away from having a baby around me full-time.

I DO love my nieces and nephews and babies/kids of my good friends. Always have. But random babies and kids? I'd take the dog any day.

Naturally, having kids of my own has changed me in more ways than I can ever write about. Just as I knew I wanted to have kids someday, I also knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. My own mother was a stay-at-home mom. I can't imagine it any other way. I loved having friends over, playing in my own home, always being welcomed by my mom after school.

To actually picture myself as a stay-at-home mom was an unthinkable task back in the day. Playing pretend all day every day? Constantly having kids crawling all over me all day? Walking out in public with spit up or other bodily fluids on my clothes 80% of the time? While I could say I wanted all of that, visualizing it was a completely different story.

I love my life. I laugh all the time (more Adele-isms to come!), I get less sleep, I play pretend, I do many things one-handed, and I do something I never ever ever ever thought I would do - wipe the snot from my kids' noses.

I think being a mother is one of the most selfless "jobs" a person can do. And let me be honest. It's an area in which I struggle. Not in the areas of giving up my precious alone time, or not in the area of having to give up in the middle of the night and getting less sleep, and not in the area of sharing my foods. Surprisingly, I do ok with those things. 

It's my identity I struggle with.

Before kids, I "did" a lot more than I do now. 

In college, I was defined by what I did. I had a major, two minors, a career concentration, and a coaching endorsement. I played varsity volleyball. I made it to nationals in both indoor and outdoor track.

Out of college, I was defined by what I did through work. I was a Spanish teacher. A basketball and volleyball coach. A naturalist for an outdoor education program. A field station manager in Costa Rica. 

And I have great hobbies. I love to read, scrapbook, make quilts, and attend free zumba classes. 

All of those are pretty cool things to be defined by. When someone asked me what I "do", I was proud to tell them. It made for good conversation. I was interesting. 

Don't get me wrong - I am proud to be a mom. I truly do enjoy being defined as a stay-at-home mom. My kids are awesome. My days are entertaining. I have purpose in life.

But everyone knows what a stay-at-home mom's life looks like. It's a life filled with a messy house, toys everywhere, a dirty kitchen, a constant pile of laundry to do, lots of laughter, funny stories to share, and plenty of hugs and slobbery kisses. 

So when someone asks me what I "do", I tell them I'm a stay-at-home mom. And they don't feel the need to ask follow-up questions, because they too can picture in their heads what that life looks like. 

However, when I meet someone who doesn't know me well and doesn't know the "cool" things I used to do, I want to tell them so they will see me as not just a stay-at-home mom. 

I think this is human nature. Is there anything wrong with being just a stay-at-home mom? Of course not. Do I need people to know cool things about me besides my days with my kids? No. 

The transition to being a stay-at-home mom was difficult for me. Even though I knew I wanted kids and I knew I wanted to stay at home with them...well, I did some pretty cool things before my kids came along. 

But let's face it. My life is pretty cool now. That picture of the stay-at-home mom inside everyone's head? That is my life. Someday I'll get more sleep, read more books, work on more projects, and have clean clothes. 

But today? Today I will dance with Adele, hold Henry and do things one-handed, and talk more about poop than I ever dreamed I would in one day. 

And to be honest, I'll probably still look past the kid in the stroller and instead pet the dog on the leash.